Guy's Rules

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sithwarrior

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Finally , the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules " From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want, Let us be clear on this one: *Subtle hints do not work! *Strong hints do not work! *Obvious hints do not work! *Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the Other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NO idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football , Xbox , or golf. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
 
hahaha, nice one to start the day.... just wish if they would ever change even after reading this or how many men[including me] have the guts to tell them...!!!

cheers...hv a good day
 
1. An 5k LV handbag is not a good investment. Neither are diamonds. A vintage European sports car on the other hand...

1. Please address all issues concerning our mothers to the arbitration center in Geneva. Or to Solomon. We are not that smart. Or that patient.

1. We will not spend 50k on an italian hi-tech kitchen with imported moon-rock marble if you're not going to cook.

1. No, we do not need a return on investment on our cars. Please don't bring up Japanese cars again.

1. If a pretty girl walks by, we will look. If we don't, you've got a problem on your hands.

1. No, we can't remember why today is special. If it's an anniversary of something, tell us. Don't ask us to guess.

1. No, we can't remember what you wore when we first met. We can't even remember the colour of the underwear we put on this morning. Our brains need to store more important things. Like the performance specifications of the car we're going to buy next.

1. No, I will not surf from home even if we install streamyx and we buy starbucks beans to make starbucks coffee at home. Ever see a starbucks barista telling the customer non-stop how her day was?

1. And finally, yes, we love you. We just don't have to talk about it non-stop. You have more verbal brain cells than we do. Our ancestors learnt not to talk too much because otherwise the woolly mamoth would hear us and run away, we'll come home empty handed, and never hear the end of it from you.

;)
 
guys have PMS too - Pre/Post Married Syndrome ...

end of discussion ....
 
Sith,

thanks for a mirthful start to the day.

Sachseelan,

can you spell pu##sywhipped? :D
 
They should teach this to the girls in primary one onwards... and make it a compulsary exam subject before they leave school...

BlackCat
 
30 Things Guys Want Girls To Know!!

1. We're not as perverted as you think we all are.

2. No matter what YOU say, your ex-boyfriend IS a LOSER.

3. We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too.

4. Don't argue with us when we call you beautiful.

5. Don't treat us like crap, what goes around comes around.

6. We know you're pretty, that's one of the reason's we're going out with you.

7. Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us.

8. If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just tell us it's that time of the month and nothing more.

9. If you really liked us for us, you would let us think that our mustache, beard, or sideburns looked cool.

10. We never shave our legs. So get over it.

11. NEVER ask us if you can put makeup on us. It's just wrong............

12. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us, if you don't.

13. When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us.

14. We absolutely do not care about the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, 98 Degrees, or what any other guy looks like for that matter.

15. We may not be able to pee accurately all of the time, but at least we can stand up and go pee.

16. Just cause you think you're always right, doesn't mean that you don't have to apologize when you do something "wrong."

17. You expect us to say and do sweet things for you, but it would be nice if you did the same every once in a while. We like to know that you love us.

18. We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans sometimes.

19. Don't ask us to beat up another guy for you, cause you might get what you wish for.

20. Never kick us in the nuts "just to see what we would say". That's just mean.

21. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh when we believe you.

22. Pamela Anderson's boobs aren't fake anymore, but we like yours better anyway.

23. Size doesn't matter, except to idiots who don't want a relationship.

24. PMS is not an excuse.

25. If you want us to put the seat down when we're done, you should put it up when you're done.

26............ Don't tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn't turn us on.

27. And always remember: The way to a guys heart is through his stomach..... and maybe....oh nevermind.

28. NEVER ask us to kiss other guys. You might be that comfy with your friends, but to us it's just wrong.

29. We always notice how funny it is after your rip out our heart, stick it down our throat and still want to be friends.

30. And last but not least: We know you're not always right, but we'll pretend like you are anyway.

Cheers boys...:rolleyes:
 
Some Pictures On This Beautiful Specimen...

Click on image for full size... if cant see the fonts clearly...



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Have fun, cheers...
 
Men strike back!?
How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men fart more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
----------------------------------------------- --------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told
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I married a Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.

It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men
until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

 
7 most important men ... in woman's life

The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's Life

1. The Doctor - who tells her to "take off all her clothes."

2. The Dentist - who tells her to "open wide."

3. The Milkman - who asks her "do you want it in the front or the back?"

4. The Hairdresser - who asks her "do you want it teased or blown?"

5. The Interior Designer - who assures her "once it's inside, you'll LOVE it!"

6. The Banker - who insists to her "if you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest!"

7. The Primal Hunter - who always goes deep into the bush, always shoots twice, always eats what he shoots, but keeps telling her "Keep quiet and lie still!"

Cheers...
 
sachseelan;231508 said:
7 most important men ... in woman's life

The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's Life

1. The Doctor - who tells her to "take off all her clothes."

2. The Dentist - who tells her to "open wide."

3. The Milkman - who asks her "do you want it in the front or the back?"

4. The Hairdresser - who asks her "do you want it teased or blown?"

5. The Interior Designer - who assures her "once it's inside, you'll LOVE it!"

6. The Banker - who insists to her "if you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest!"

7. The Primal Hunter - who always goes deep into the bush, always shoots twice, always eats what he shoots, but keeps telling her "Keep quiet and lie still!"

Cheers...

Damnnnn... I aint none of the above....Thats prolly why its been a dry spell for while.... absolute nabehness :(:( :(
 
So Mr Sith how was your weekand saw any action or i would say to much action no wonder so silent over the weekand.
 
redbaron;231636 said:
So Mr Sith how was your weekand saw any action or i would say to much action no wonder so silent over the weekand.

No No.. No action what so ever... the only action I had was at the grinding of my teeth at the dentist office and an extraction.... what a painfull weekend.
 
another reason lah redbaron and alwz be the excuses yeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaa
 
Bailey;231645 said:
another reason lah redbaron and alwz be the excuses yeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaa

lets meet tomorrow and you can look inside my mouth and at the receipt from the dentist.. how ? :mad:
 
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