Some thoughts on this:
Basically heat kills..... the stop start nature of a KL jam is perhaps more stressfull on an engine than a track day session in Sepang.... so the key will be to mitigate these issues.
If drive auto.... spend some money on retro fit ATF cooler.... auto tranny specialists will be able to do this job.... heat are among things that kill autos;
I have read in BMWCar magazine that if drive auto, leave it in D and use brake to come to a stop. Dont put in N or P unless parking of course. On a practical note N serves very little purpose in day to day driving. ..... its actually not advisable to put in N and coast down a hill for instance). Doing otherwise will put stress on the seals etc. ... not my 2cents but some UK auto tranny expert...
Otherwise make sure cooling system in top shape (trust me on this one.....the hijackers know what I'm talking about).... radiator, hoses, fans, thermostats, water pumps etc.
If got moolah.... get oil cooler.... a bit OTT but what the hey!..... stacked plate design is apparently best.... some UDMs already come with this e.g. E30 325is etc.... can retrofit if spend some money...
Use quality lubes.... for engine oil, for tranny etc..... maybe go with synthetic.... redline is recommended by US/UK enthusiasts.... maybe even Redline waterwetter.... some disagreements here (do search ...already discussed) apperently proven to reduce oevrall water temp.....
enuff said....